Free From Regret
by lauramelinda
Summary: Five years after the season finale Rory is living her dream life, is she happy? Is she free from Regret? Inspired by Jason Aldean's "Do you wish it was me?"
1. 1 Wanting to is Never Enough

Sunlight streamed through the sheer curtains in Rory Gilmore's apartment. The light was diffused but it still showed the promise of a beautiful spring day. The room itself was small and cozy and was decorated in neutral colors of white, cream and beige.

In stark contrast to the lightness of the room was the mass of chestnut hair peaking from under the covers. Rory had been trying to ignore the rays of sun hitting her face and when she realized she couldn't anymore she buried it into her pillow. Soon she discovered the effort was fruitless and began accepting the morning. With one eye she peaked out at the clock on her night-side table. She huffed when she saw it was just past eight on a Sunday morning.

She turned over and looked at the man beside her. She studied his face and noted how peaceful he looked when he slept. She studied the stubble on his chin and the wrinkles starting to show around his eyes. He really was handsome.

His name was Steven and they had met almost a year ago at a fundraiser she really didn't want to be at. When a mutual friend introduced them her night took a turn for the better. Steven was good looking, smart and funny and could almost keep up with her. When the evening ended he asked if he could see her again but she declined. He was persistent thought, three months and numerous flower deliveries later she finally relented. Rory had told him that she wasn't looking for anything serious, that her career was the most important thing in her life. He accepted stating that just like a thirsty field he would be thankful for every drop he could get.

That was eight months ago but last night everything changed.

Rory thought it would be a normal date night for the two of them but when he had called and told her to dress up she began to worry. She thought the date might be cancelled and in place they would be attending dinner with some business associates but when she got the restaurant she only found Steven. He went on to explain that he wanted them to have a special night together, that she deserved to be treated right because she was special. When he said that Rory's mind wondered back to her grandparent's vow renewal and to Logan.

It was in between the roast duck and chocolate soufflé that he said it. He was in love with her. She was shocked to say the least but then he went on. He said that when he saw his future he saw her. Steven wanted to marry Rory. He quickly added how he knew she wasn't ready for that but he wanted her to know. She wondered if the quick amendment was because he saw the look of panic on her face.

Rory was more than shocked. She went out for dinner with the man she was seeing. The man she couldn't even bring herself to call her boyfriend and he wanted to marry her. She told him she wasn't ready and like the gentleman he was he understood. She didn't leave when he shared his feelings and that was enough for him.

Now sitting in her bed looking at him sleeping she wondered if he was her future. She never really thought about it before. She had her priorities in life and for the last five years her career had been at the top of it. Could she change her proprieties? Could she see herself married?

Rory continued to stare at him. Maybe if she gave him a real chance she could love him. Steven was a good man. They could build a good life together. She decided she wanted to love him.

When she closed her eyes to imagine what it would be like to married Steven wasn't the man she saw. When she imagined herself walking down the aisle it wasn't Steven waiting for her, it was Logan Huntzburger. It was always Logan. She wanted to love Steven but wanting to is never enough.

A/N: This has been on my computer for a while and I though I'd post it. I got the idea from Jason Aldean's "Do you wish it was me?" I'm thinking about turning it into a story after finals, what do you think?

Any constructive criticism would be appreciated.


	2. 2 Same time, Different Place, Same Idea

When Logan Huntzburger awoke he felt a slight ache in his head and his mouth felt like a sandbox. He slowly stretched his body, awakening it after a short and fitful sleep. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock. Eight a.m. was too early to be awake on a Sunday morning.

Walking over to the window he shook his head trying to get his dreams, or maybe they were nightmares, he couldn't really decide, out of his head. As he drew the curtains sunlight filled the normally dark room. His sister had decorated his apartment when he moved and the bedroom was filled with dark linens and furniture.

He headed to the bathroom where he brushed his teeth and took two advil to erase the effects of the previous night. The fact that he was awake at this hour and was able to function was a testament to his maturity. Not just his but his two best friends as well.

Logan, Colin and Finn spent the evening in a small pub drinking and reminiscing. They didn't get together as much as they would like these days; it was their careers that took most of their focus now. In the six years since graduation they had all matured and it showed.

After a few drinks the group began talking about their days at Yale, living in their memories, a stark contrast to their current reality. Now they spent their days in business meetings and had long nights at the office trying to accomplish everything that was expected of them. Evenings such as this were a race occurrence and even then they were so tame the college versions of themselves were disappointed.

After a few more drinks their conversation turned to Rory Gilmore. It seemed to Logan he was never quite able to escape her. It was very easy to find information on her; even back when he didn't try he was surrounded by it. He had three main sources for his information these days.

The first was Finn and he was more than willing to share all his information on Reporter Girl after a few drinks. Finn was the only one of Logan's friends that he knew still kept in contact with Rory, although he suspected more did and they just didn't tell him to spare his feelings. It was through Finn that he knew she was casually seeing someone.

The second source was gossip he heard about her, from a few business associates but mostly his sister. It turned out that Rory's future was wide open but had filled up fast. It was during the campaign trail that she quickly developed a name for herself. The journalism world was abuzz about the young reporter with a unique voice. She blossomed into the promise everyone, except Mitchum Hutzburger, saw and expected from her.

From his sister the gossip surrounded her personal life. It was through Honor that he knew Rory's so–called casual boyfriend had been ring shopping. He wondered if this man would have better luck. When he heard about it a pang of jealousy shot through him. He wondered if another man would have a rejected engagement ring in his sock drawer, taunting him every morning, reminding him of his broken dreams.

It was the third source that was the most important one to Logan because it was Rory herself. It was her blog and to Logan it felt like she was writing directly to him, although he suspected everyone thought that as well. Sometimes she included articles she had published but other times it was just her thoughts, like a personal editorial column. He could tell how things in her life were going by her topics and tone. It made it feel like she was still a part of his life.

When Logan was being honest with himself he knew that Rory would be in his thoughts regardless of funny stories Finn told him or the times he was alerted to her new blog posts. Because honestly most things reminded him of Rory. Every time he saw a cup of coffee or book that she had mentioned she would enter his thoughts. In the five years they had been apart they hadn't laid eyes on each other but she was always surrounding him. He was able to mostly ignore it but she was on his mind like a slight headache that never really went away.

Logan had made many mistakes in his life but he could only bring himself to admit one true regret.

It didn't take him long to realize how wrong he had been once his anger faded away. He had expected her to be just as excited as he was when he proposed. They had never talked about marriage, he told her not to factor him in and most importantly he had proposed in the most un-Rory Gilmore way he could. Everything about the proposal had been about him.

He realized his mistakes now, how he let his foolish pride stand in the way of the best thing in his life. He didn't really understand why he didn't change once he figured it all out. Why hadn't he gone after her?

Logan walked back to the window and thought about her as he looked at the park. Was she happy? Were her dreams all she thought they'd be? Or did she wish it was him beside her? Like he wished it was her.

A/N: So this story just got in my head. The good news is that I have a basic plot for most of the story. Review!


	3. 3 Listen to Your Heart

Chapter 3 – Listen to Your Heart

Rory boarded a plane heading to JFK Airport and tried to clear her head. Specifically she tried to clear it of thoughts of Logan.

It had been just over a week since she had her early morning revelation. Hours later she boarded a plane that took her to Austin, Texas. The timing of her trip couldn't have been better in Rory's opinion. She was in Austin for work. These days she was working freelance and was in the city to write an article for a magazine.

She had hoped a week away would give her sometime to think about everything. She needed to figure out her feeling towards Steven, should she try to love him? Or should she try and find her first real love? It wasn't a simple answer.

Logan Huntzburger was Rory's first real love. There was a time when she thought she loved Dean or even possibly Jess but over the years she had realized that Logan was her first real love.

He changed her. They changed each other. She knew she was a better person for having Logan in her life, even if it was for a short time.

She was shocked when it was him she imaged as her groom. It was a problem for many reasons.

The first was she hadn't seen Logan since that day on the grounds of Yale when she said no.

Secondly and most importantly he didn't understand that she wasn't saying no to him, she was saying no to marriage. She thought he would understand that but she was wrong. So wrong that she spent the next year grieving the end of a relationship she never really wanted to end. She went from heartbreak to anger to understanding… it was a long year for her.

She knew that Logan didn't see their break-up the same way she did. She saw that they broke each other's hearts but she was pretty sure he thought she just broke his. Was that something they could get over?

Would they even have the opportunity to get over it? Did Logan ever think of her? Would he want to see her? Was he married? She didn't think he would be the Huntzburger heir marrying was something she would have heard about.

If they were to meet again would she have to convince him to give her another chance? Did she even want another chance?

Questions swirled in her head all week.

As Rory heard the wheels touch the ground in New York she realized something. She had spent the whole week thinking about what she should do and other than a few spare thoughts it was Logan she thought about, not Steven.

A/N: So I had a hard time with this one. This is the third version…I hope you like it. My finals will be done on Tuesday and after that I'm hoping to have more of a regular posting schedule. Thanks for reading!


	4. 4 A WateredDown Version of the Truth

**Chapter 4- A Watered-Down Version of the Truth**

Breaking up with Steven was harder than Rory anticipated. Her decision to officially end things was made before she picked up her luggage. She knew she was going to break up with him but how?

The how kept her wondering all through the cab ride into the city and most of her unpacking. Somewhere between throwing the whites in the dryer and the darks in the washer she decided to tell him the truth…well a water-downed version of the truth. She just didn't love him.

After Rory decided on the how she spent the rest of her afternoon thinking about their relationship. Her conclusion was that it never really was a relationship. To her Steven hadn't been more than a good excuse to decline other dates, a reason to politely say, "I'm sorry but I'm seeing someone." He was someone that she was biding her time with, a fantastic Mr. Right Now.

She thought they were in a string-less relationship and he wanted steel cables.

It really hadn't taken her long to figure out she never really tried in the relationship because she never really had to. Steven always made-up for her lack of participation, he was the one who would always call. Upon reflection it was easy for Rory to see that it would have ended long ago, or maybe never even started, if it wasn't for Steven's effort.

He arrived at her apartment that night to take her for dinner. It was somewhat a tradition for them, probably the only one they had. He would come and take her for dinner the night she got back from wherever her travels took her. Rory insisted they didn't speak when she was gone, she justified it by telling him she immersed herself in work. It wasn't really a lie; it was true when she was working on a project she was focused. Rory never told him she still found time to talk to her mother when she was gone. So every time she returned he took her to dinner. She told him about the assignment and he filled her in on everything she missed in the city.

"You're not ready?" Steven looked at her in her sweatpants and t-shirt. "Was your plane late?"

"No" Rory was having a hard time looking him in the eye. "Maybe you should come in and sit down."

He didn't say anything, just came in and sat down on her sofa. He knew this couldn't be good. All week he had worried he freaked her out with the talk of marriage and now with the look on her face he knew he did.

After all her preparation Rory was having a hard time remembering what she wanted to say. Breaking-up really was hard to do.

"I'm not ready for dinner because I can't go." He opened his mouth to say something but she put up her hand to make him stop. "Please let me do this. I've been thinking about what you said all week. The thing is I'm having a hard time picturing my future but when I do I don't think you are in it." She hadn't intended for that to sound so harsh.

"You don't think?" He didn't sound angry he just sounded defeated, like he was expecting this.

"You don't really know me. It's not your fault it's mine. I never showed you. I never confided in you. We've never talked about our future. How can you want to marry me but not know what I envision my future to be? I don't even know if I want to get married. "

"You can show me Rory. It's not to late."

"It is. I can see now that I've never really let you in and I'm sorry for that. You are a good man Steven, I wish I could love you but I can't. One day you'll find someone you really love and she'll feel the same way, but it's not me."

A/N: Another short one. It turns out getting my thoughts down is harder than I anticipated.

But Steven is gone…for now and that means Rory can focus on other things like a certain blond-haired man she's been thinking about.

P.S. I'm looking for a Beta…anyone interested?


	5. 5 Cupcake Pajamas and Bunny Slippers

**So I keep forgetting the whole disclaimer thing. Sadly I do not own anything other than all the Gilmore Girls DVDs and a t-shirt that says 'I love Logan Huntzburger'**

**Chapter 5 Cupcake Pajamas and Bunny Slippers**

Rory felt great after Steven left her apartment. Well maybe not really great, after all she was sorry he would be hurting but at the same time she was ready to beginning the next chapter in her life. She had decided. She had a plan.

The plan lasted roughly two hours.

After Steven left Rory called up a couple girlfriends and made plans to meet them for drinks. As she raced around her apartment getting ready for a night in the city she began to think about what it really was she wanted in her future, the one she so callously told Steven he did not belong in only hours ago. What exactly did she want?

So she had pictured Logan as the man she would marry. She had pictured old Logan, the one she knew five years ago. Was that still him? Five years was a long time. She wasn't the same Rory from five years ago so it was really unfair to think he would be the same Logan.

She was sitting on her bathroom floor writing furiously on the pad of paper in her lap when she heard the doorbell ring. She ignored it and kept writing but after it had rung for the fifth time she admitted defeat and rose from her spot.

"Not really a great look." Lucy said as she pushed her way into the apartment past Rory. "Well I guess for the right occasion it would be, say a Gilmore movie night, but not really great for a night in New York City. Cupcake pajamas and bunny slippers doesn't really cut it. I was more thinking a classic LBD and red stilettos."

Rory had gotten so carried away with planning her hypothetical future she forgot about her very real present. Lucy was in Rory's bedroom going through her closet when Rory finally stop processing and went to join her friend. Lucy and Rory had become what Lucy lovingly referred to as soul-mates over the last five years. During the campaign trail they kept in-touch by email and when she moved to the city Lucy was the one who helped her make it feel like home. Lucy would never replace Lane, Paris or her mother but she was now among them when Rory counted her best friends.

Rory's mind was still swirling with different possibilities for her future. It had only been two hours since she had spoken with her friends but it felt like weeks for Rory. She stood in her doorway until Lucy grabbed her hand and dragged her to the bathroom. But the whirlwind of Lucy stopped when she saw the paper scattered around the bathroom floor. On the counter there was an almost empty pad of paper, it was the words on the pad that grabbed Lucy's attention. It was simply labeled "Future?" In a neat column listed all the realistic possible futures Rory could imagine.

Open a book store

Get a job at the New York Times

Keep freelancing

Get married, have kids and a white picket fence

Write a book

Go back to school for something else

Became a regular full-time Foreign Correspondent

Go to Grad School

Really it was a pretty small list. The list she made to go to the grocery store or what she needed to pack to go home were easily twice as long. But at the same time this list was so big.

When Lucy looked up Rory had tears in her eyes.

"I think this need reinforcement. I'm going to call boyfriend."

A half an hour later the doorbell rang again. When Rory opened the door she couldn't see who it was for all the bags in their hands. It looked like they had bought out the junk food aisle at the grocery store.

"I think I have all the necessary requirements. You'll see, love, we'll figure this out."

A/N: So another short one but I'm still happy because I've been having trouble writing these days.


	6. 6 Not a Foxhole Type of Girl

**Sadly I do not own anything other than all the Gilmore Girls DVDs and a t-shirt that says 'I love Logan Huntzburger'**

**Chapter 6**

When Rory woke up she felt like she had been hit by a truck. She tried to remember how much she had to drink the night before. It took a few minutes to realize that whatever she was feeling was not a hangover at all. It was a combination of a sugar coma and crying every tear she had out.

She walked out to the kitchen to get some much-needed coffee. When she arrived she found Lucy and Finn sitting at her kitchen table, reading her paper and drinking her coffee.

"Finally up? Really Reporter Girl? I didn't think it take this long." Finn said as he saw her standing staring at them.

"Shh…I need coffee." It sounded muffled because Rory said it as she put her head down on the table. Lucy got up and poured a cup of coffee for her. Once she finished it she spoke again, "So I really appreciate everything you both did last night but I think I over-reacted. I was just all confused about breaking up with Steven."

Lucy and Finn didn't say anything; they just sat across from Rory looking at her. She felt compelled to explain.

"I guess I was feeling confused, about everything. I've always had a plan for how my life would be. I was that kid who decided at four what I would be. I would be journalist and that is what I committed to. But should anybody really listen to four year olds? I have just reached a point that now I wonder if being a journalist is really what I should be?

"I feel like I put one part of my life on hold so that I could get the other part under control. It's under control but now what? I have the dream job I've always wanted; I'm not exactly Christiane Amanpour but I'm not really a foxhole kinda girl. I adapted the dream. I still travel around the world, I still tell different peoples stories. I guess I figured I have someone to come home to when I was done.

"I just never factored in any of the other stuff when I was four. Why would I? My mom never did but then again she had me." Her tears returned with a vengeance then. Finn got up, kissed Lucy on the forehead and moved to the living room to give the girls some space. Last night they had been over most of this. The night mostly consisted of Rory crying and wondering aloud why she couldn't be happy. No solutions where suggested, Lucy and Finn just held her as she cried and offered soothing words in her ear.

"I wish I said yes." This is the first time she said it out loud, actually it was the first time she really admitted it to herself.

"I wish I had a Marty McFly. I wish I could go back and changed my answer. I wanted to say yes."

After a few minutes Lucy finally asked her the question she'd been wondering since graduation "Then how come you didn't?"

"I don't know anymore."

It took a few more hours for Rory to get all her tears out but finally they were gone, leaving just as quickly as they arrived. Rory and Lucy sat at her kitchen table once again, both gripping cups of tea sitting motionless. Finn had left somewhere in between the second and third box of Kleenex.

"I have a new plan." Rory suddenly said.

Lucy looked up and said, "Okay explain."

"I need to see him again. Just to make sure what I'm feeling is real." Lucy waited for her to continue. After a few moments she did, "That's it, that is the plan."

"Sorry I was expecting a Rory Gilmore plan, with charts and diagrams." Rory's face fell and Lucy quickly added, "Don't worry this is a plan we can work with."


	7. 7 Lady in Red

I own nothing…are you shocked? Surprised?

**Chapter 7- Lady in Red**

Logan Huntzburger looked around and wondered how he wound up here, in a small art gallery in SoHo. It was filled with modern art that Logan neither understood nor had any desire to. He scanned the room and silently counted the minutes until he could leave.

Logan's original plans for the evening did not include standing around in this gallery. They were simple really, his original plans; go home, pick up some take-out on the way and relax. Maybe have a glass of scotch or watch a movie. He needed to unwind; it had been a very busy week at Huntzburger Media Group.

He wondered for the multiple time that night just how he wound up here, not just in the gallery but back on the East Coast, back under his father's watchful eye. He let him mind wonder to the circumstance that led him here.

Logan loved California and he suited Palo Alto. The only thing missing for him had been Rory.

California had been the place where he was first successful. He, along with his partners, had built a company that was not only a success profit wise but also had gained the respect of the people in the industry. The thing that Logan was most proud of was that he did it just Logan, not the Huntzburger heir.

His father had been trying to persuade him to come back to what he called "his rightful place" since just a little more than a year after he left. One year, two months and six days after he arrived in California the company he helped create when public. The amount the shares went for impressed his father and Mitchum had one of his lackeys find out everything he could on the company. Logan nearly had a heart attack when his father showed up in his office a few days later. He promised Logan almost anything if he would come back to Huntzburger Media Group. Logan said he wasn't interested and continued to say so until about a year ago.

After four years in California he was seriously considering coming back home. He did what he set out to do; he proved that he could accomplish great things own his own. He proved that not only to himself but also to his father and anyone who ever said he didn't deserve a job in the family company. He was actually sitting in his office chair late one night with a glass of scotch in one hand when he received a phone call that changed his life. That phone call told him that Mitchum had a heart attack. He flew back to Connecticut the next day and only returned to California to pick up his things and say good-bye to the avocado tree.

At the time he could have said no to his father and Huntzburger Media Group, but he didn't want to. He didn't want someone else to take over. And like the prodigal he was welcomed with open arms. The thing that made it okay for Logan was the stipulations he had written into his contract, in essence he didn't work for his father. Logan headed up his own division of Huntzburger Media Group; it dealt purely with the Internet side of the business. He felt he learned so much during his time in California and besides that he also developed a passion for the industry. In his new role at HMG he was able to combine his two passions and he was good at it. Of course Mitchum was still around watching him but he didn't feel the pressure like he once did.

He also suspected that the fact that Rory Gilmore was on the East Coast had more to do with the decision than he was willing to admit to himself.

Logan ended up in this particular art gallery on this particular night out of necessity. His second-in-command, Ethan Morris, had a family emergency. Logan and Ethan had become good friends in the year they had worked together so when Ethan came to Logan with panic written all over his face Logan was worried for him. It turned out that Ethan's pregnant wife was in the hospital. Logan told him to go to her and he would cover the evening in the art gallery.

It was a cocktail party for the New York Press Association and someone from HMG had to show their face and he was just waiting for the acceptable amount of time to past before he took his exit. Ethan had called him on his way to the event with good news, his wife just had Braxton-hicks contractions and they were going to be discharged soon.

Logan looked around the space again. He had been mingling for almost two hours and was plotting his escape when he saw her. At first he thought his eyes might be playing a trick on him, it wouldn't be the first time. He saw her everywhere.

He watched as a beautiful brunette in a stunning red cocktail dress wondered around the room. Logan was just one of the many men watching her make her way around the space. She turned as another woman came up to speak with her. Logan stopped breathing for a moment when he saw Rory Gilmore's face. She was just as beautiful as he remembered. The other woman left and Rory began looking at the painting again. She would move her head from side to side, like she was carefully studying each piece of art.

Logan drank in the sight of her, he stared at her openly and unabashed. After what seemed like an eternity, but in reality was only a few minutes he began walking over to her, his legs moving on their own accord. She didn't notice him walking up to her; she was oblivious to her surroundings. Rory's head was tilted to the right when he approached, he leaned in close and when he spoke she jumped with surprise.

A/N: And they meet again! Only 7 chapters, not bad!

As a side note did I get the name right? I couldn't remember if the Huntzburger's family business had a name.


	8. 8 Beautiful Confusion

So I own nothing…

I know its been a million years but I was having some problems with getting the words on the page. This is super short but it sets the stage for the next chapter when they will actually speak. Please let me know if you have any ideas for this story!

Chapter 8- Beautiful Confusion

Rory was walking around the gallery looking at all of the art pieces. Occasionally she would stop in front of one taking a good look but it didn't really help. The more she walked around the more she they paintings and objects seemed foreign to her. Rory wished she had taken art appreciation when she was at Yale instead of the music appreciation class she did take. She had yet to find a reason to know that Bach was from the Baroque period or what functional tonality was, yet she knew both.

She couldn't say the evening was a total waste though. Her current state of confusion was better than the chaos of the last month.

After her two-day wallowing session she started working on her plan. She needed to see Logan again to see if her feelings were real. Five years was a long time and she needed to see if the Logan in her head and the real Logan were anything alike.

She did a little research and found out a few pertinent things and the rest she found out from Finn. Finn had turned into her best ally in her quest. He answered all the questions about how to find Logan, including the only personal questions she asked; was he was involved with anyone. Rory was relieved with the no she received.

For two weeks she tried to accidently run into Logan. She had coffee at his regular coffee shop, ate at his favorite restaurant, and in one act of desperation she even went to his gym. She pretended to work on the stairmaster until an angry petite woman in her forties told her, not so nicely, that she was taking machines away from people who actually wanted to work out.

After the gym incident Rory decided that maybe fate was stepping in and Logan and her were not meant to meet again. Maybe their story was over. And after one more night eating ice cream and crying on the bathroom floor, there was only one man who could bring her to tears on the bathroom floor, she decided to let it go. She didn't want to live in the past anymore.

That was two weeks ago. She had spent the past week trying to listen to her heart. She needed to find was she was looking for. Rory wasn't the kind of girl who let her happiness rest on relationships she had or didn't have. She went to Stars Hallow to visit with her mom and favorite step-dad Luke, Boston for her dad and Gigi and finally a few days with Paris Geller in Maryland. Her own version of Italy, India and Bali.

She felt rested, recuperated and ready to start a new chapter of her life. On Monday she had an interview with the New York Times, and she had a really good feeling about it.

And for tonight she was happy to be surrounded by beautiful confusion. She was walking around, once again looking forward to her wide-open future when suddenly her past caught up with her.


	9. 9 How Long Till I'll See You Again?

So I still own nothing…

Let's recap because it has been forever since I've update:

It has been 5 years since the day in the courtyard at Yale and both Logan and Rory have tried to move on. Rory believed she really did move on until the man she was seeing, the man she wouldn't and couldn't call her boyfriend, proclaimed he wanted to marry her. When she stated thinking about marriage and what it would be like it was Logan she pictured as her husband.

Logan has had a harder time moving on. He realized his mistakes quickly but didn't know how to fix them. He busies himself with work but Rory is never far from his thoughts.

Their paths cross again at a cocktail party. Logan has spotted Rory and without thinking he immediately moves towards her.

**Chapter 9 -**

"Does it help?" Rory knew who it was before he even spoke the words. He came up behind her and stood so close she could feel the heat of his body against her own. She wanted to say she sensed him near but she couldn't, her spidey sense didn't even kick in it. However she was sure she would recognize his smell till the day she died and that was how she knew it was him. There was just something about the way his cologne mixed with the inevitable glass of scotch in his hand. For a moment she didn't say a thing, she couldn't, she just let the memories the scent evoked surround her.

"Does what help?" She asked without turning around. She wasn't ready for that, not yet.

"Titling your head like that from side to side. Does it suddenly make the image clearer?" She could picture the smirk on face when he said it.

"I like to think so but not really. However it does make me feel like I've given understanding it a valiant effort so in the end it's worth it."

They stood together for a few moments just staring at paint on canvas. Finally she turned to look at him. He looked the same but at the same time he also looked different, more like the man Rory thought he turned out to be. He was still very handsome.

"Ace…" She thought it might say more but he just stood staring and smiling at her.

"Master and Commander?" She questioned wondering if he'd say more. She thought of that day in hallway of her dorm and how insufferable he had been. The sound of his laugh brought her back to the present.

"I've missed you Ace." Suddenly his tone was serious and Rory didn't know what to say. She looked into his eyes and only saw sincerity. She wanted to tell him that she missed him so much, that saying no was the biggest mistake of her life and she had been wishing for a chance to make him love her again. She opened her mouth to speak the words but no sound came. She tried again but was cut off by his words.

"Still drink coffee?" This time she was the one to laugh.

"Do birds fly? Do nuns pray? Do you still drink scotch?"

RLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRL

Logan starred across the table in fascination. They had been sitting, just talking, in a little twenty-four hour coffee shop for hours. Logan couldn't remember the last time he as much fun as he was having right now. Rory was in the middle of telling him a story about a trip to India and the elephant she was unfortunate enough to meet. She was gesturing with her hands and her face was radiating pure joy.

Logan was beginning to realize that over the last five years Rory had changed. It wasn't drastic; mostly she was still how he remembered her. There were small little changes that only someone like him who had known her so well would see. She had really lived over the last five years, taken every opportunity that had been presented to her and it had changed her. Logan kept thinking how he couldn't wait to see just how much.

When Logan saw Rory looked at her watch he knew the evening, now more accurately morning, was coming to an end. He didn't want it to ever end. The words were out of his mouth before he could really think about them; he just couldn't let Rory walk out of his life again.

"Can I see you again?"

A/N: Thanks for reading if you are still out there! I had the craziest semester at school which gave me no time for anything fun. I handed in 80 typed pages of essays and book reviews. Happily I am almost done my degree now, I just have one little freshmen class to take. I am going to try to keep to some sort of schedule….hopefully every two weeks I'll update.

Also you should check out Alas, Alak, Allonze! by 3988Akasha. Fabulous story, you'll love it! It's a Roagn and a new version of season 5. http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6508380/1/Alas_Alak_Allonze


	10. 10 Carried Away

I own nothing…

**Chapter 10- Carried Away**

When Rory woke up she had a huge smile on her face. She couldn't remember being this happy in a really long time. She wasn't just happy, she was dance in your underwear cause you can't keep it in happy. That kind of happy didn't come around very often.

Her thoughts drifted to last night. Rory was more than shocked to see Logan. For weeks she had tried so hard to see him, she had spent quite a bit of time trying to accidently run into him. But then, just after she had given up hope he was standing in front of her. Going out for coffee had been great, they just sat and talked, it was like no time had pasted between them. As they were saying good-bye Logan gave her a hug and kissed her, ever so gently, on her forehead.

The ringing of the phone brought her out of her musings.

"Hello."

"Ace, how are you this fine morning?"

Fantastic, wonderful, better than she had been in years all seemed like suitable answers but she decided to with, "I'm good." Still she was pretty sure Logan could hear the smile in her voice.

"Good, I'm glad you're good." He sounded nervous. "I was calling to see if you would like to have breakfast with me. I know I kept you up late last night and I thought what better way to make it up to you than buying you even more coffee."

"I'd love to." And just like that they were in each other's live again.

The rest of the weekend past in a blur, with Rory and Logan busy enjoying each other's company.

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Monday afternoon Rory walked out of the New York Times building and Logan was the first person she called.

"I got it." She was trying really hard not to jump up and down on the sidewalk outside the building.

"I knew you would. You'll be the best reporter on staff. You look really excited, maybe you should sit down."

"I can't sit down at a time like this. Wait, you said I look excited. How do you know what I look like?"

"Well I'd have to look of all the mechanics of it if you want me to get technical but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with light reflecting off your corneas or maybe it has to do with neurons and retinas. Either way it's because I'm sitting in front of you. I did say you should sit down."

Rory looked up and saw him sitting with a huge bouquet of flowers and what looked to be two coffees.

After a few more phone calls to share her good news the pair headed back to Logan's place where they ordered take-out and drank champagne to celebrate her new job. While sitting on the sofa Logan leaned over and kissed Rory and she let herself get carried away.

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"Hello." As soon as Rory heard the voice on the other end she spoke,

"I slept with him."

"Who? And by who I mean who did you did you sleep with, not to be confused with who is this. You, Rory Gilmore, are the only person who calls me at 2:00 in the morning. And I work at a hospital, on call, and yet you are the one calling."

"Logan Huntzburger." Rory choose to ignore the rest of Paris's speech.

"Well look at it this way, you got to have a night of fun and not even increase your number."

"Number? You're talking about my number right now?"

"Rory you should know even in this day and age…" Rory cut Paris and her crazy rambling off.

"Not the point Paris. My point was that I am in Logan Huntzburger's bathroom, in the shower no less, because I just had sex with him, twice." Paris didn't respond.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Rory was whispering but her pitch was slowly getting higher.

"Well even though we have established the point of this call we have not established how I'm supposed to react. Tried once already and it was obviously not the right reaction for you. I'm guessing happiness is out- the 2 am call, the whispering and the echo of the shower stall all lead me to this conclusion."

Rory learned her head again the shower wall and sighed. This was way she called Paris; she wasn't sure how she was feeling.

"I don't even know. You're supposed to help me figure it out, that is the best friends job."

"I feel it is only fair to point out that you're close to your yearly quota of midnight calls."

"Paris I think I still love him and I just slept with him. We haven't talked about anything, the proposal, the all or nothing, the missing him, nothing. We have spent the last four days blissfully ignoring any real problems we have. Had? Regardless they will still probably carry over now. I don't how why I did it. Well of course I do, he's Logan, one minute he's kissing and the next more. I just couldn't stop. God Paris, why is this so complicated?"

"Is it really?" Paris let the question hang in the air. "Rory maybe it really is simple. You love him; it's clear as day to everyone. He was your first true love and that doesn't go away. Go back to bed, in the morning talk to him." With that, and without saying good-bye, Paris hung up.

Rory stayed in the bathroom thinking about what Paris had said, was it really simple? She was startled out of her thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Ace?" Rory rushed to get up while calling for Logan to wait a minute but he walked into the bathroom.

"I know you are freaking out, thinking about what everything means. Stop making that pro/con list in your head and come back to bed. Just know we'll figure everything out. I just got you back Rory Gilmore and I have no plans to let you go again."

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